Testimony

Circa 200 BCE, Rome, Italy

Herminius had been sitting in a crowded prison for days, pleading with the gods for mercy as he awaited trial in Rome’s court. He took solace in the friendship of a haggardly old man, his wrinkles etched deep by time, who stood accused of stealing another man’s sheep. The old man was distressed and heedlessly chewed his nails, which he bit down to the nubs, but his constant chatter kept Herminius’ mind occupied. He spoke incessantly of his innocence, though his accuser was of higher class and thus had the upper hand in court. If the old man simply agreed to having stolen the animal, he would pay his accuser the value of the property, but if he denied it and was still found guilty, he would have to pay double the value—an expense that would cost him his livelihood.

As for Herminius, he had taken out the eye of a surely youth after excessive flirting with his wife prompted a stern slug to the youth’s face, a slug made bolder, and stronger, by goblets of nectarous wine. He cracked the youth’s eye socket, but worse still, his spiked ring poked straight into the youth’s iris, filling his sight with a sickening mixture of blood and metal. His accuser was rumored to have forty-eight witnesses willing to testify—the maximum allowed—but it was uncertain whether the youth’s father would demand and eye for an eye, or if he would seek to recover the amount of profit lost from his maimed son’s now less-than-bright future employment prospects. Hermenius’ stomach turned as he pondered his fate, his body trembling and sweating in anticipation of his immanent encounter with Roman law.

Rome first established a code of laws in 450 BCE, during the time of the Republic, after a plebian revolt. The common people had demanded to know their rights. A ten-man commission was established and a list of laws and penalties drawn up, called the Twelve Tables, which made crime and punishment more transparent.

From the corner in which he sat, cradling his knees in sorrow, Herminius glanced up and around the prison, looking pitifully upon those in a worse predicament than he—those who faced the death penalty. Most kept their silence, not wishing to speak of the crimes with which they had been charged, though it was well known which trespasses carried such a grave sentence: crimes of violence, incendiarism, carrying a weapon with criminal intent, or purchasing, selling, or administering poison. Upper class citizens charged with such a crime were generally exiled for a given time and their property confiscated. Common people were brutally flogged or given a life’s sentence in the mines, though in the time of the Empire, they could request the arena where they would meet a grander and quicker death. Those from the lowest rungs of society would be buried alive, thrown from a cliff, crucified, impaled, or set aflame.

Without warning, a set of guards lifted Herminius by the arms.

“The court awaits you,” one of the guards said.

Herminius was brought to a rectangular building near the forum where a judge sat on an elevated seat at the far end of the room, and the jury, who ruled by majority vote, sat on benches on one side, opposite the witnesses.

The judge called Herminius’ accuser and the witnesses forward to take an oath swearing they would not speak falsely. Each man placed his right hand on his testis—placing one’s hands on something so sacred guaranteed the truth of one’s testimony—and each man took his oath. And so Herminius’ trial began, and several hours later, with many tears and pleas for appeal—of which none were ever allowed—the trial ended.



The Truth of the Matter: This is by far the most contested etymology addressed yet. Although many do not agree in an association between “testis” and “testimony,” some believe it to be true, and the relation was too amusing to ignore. One of the greatest pieces of evidence cited by scholars in support of this association comes from the Bible where it states, “And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house... Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh, and I will make thee swear by the Lord...’” (Gen. 23:2–3, KJV). The vast majority of other details in this story—including the history of Roman law and the crimes and punishments listed—are true. The characters are fictional.